A Hand to Hold

When I was living in Macau (China), one of the things that usually keep me busy on some weekends is a trip to a nursing home to help feed some old folks for lunch. It's a kind of volunteer work that this old folks' home hopes to always have. So, last Sunday I went there with 4 other friends.The idea is to spoonfeed those who can't eat by themselves. Some of the residents are already bed-ridden, some are blind, some are deaf, some had lost the control of their movements and some are just too old to do things by themselves.

There is a separate mess hall for those who have the above-mentioned conditions. Each volunteer is assigned to assist one old person. I was asked to help one very old lady. As I approached her she started coughing terribly... terrible enough to make her lose her appetite for lunch. She only had five spoonfuls of the soft meal --- consisting of porridge, minced vegetables and meat --- prepared by the canteen. She was also given some slices of orange. She refused to eat more. I tried coaxing her to have a few more serving but to no avail, she wouldn't.

Then, one nursing home attendant who heard me convincing the old lady to eat more, came to me and said, "She's blind and deaf." No wonder, she wouldn't 'hear' anything of what I was saying. Since she couldn't hear me, I tried to put the spoon close to her mouth hoping she would just open it and take in the offer but she wouldn't. She then told me in a clear but soft voice, "'I'm full." Then I lifted a slice of orange to her mouth, she took it from me and examined it with her hands to identify what it was being offered to her. She then put it on the table and told me, "I have cough, I can't eat oranges."

(The Chinese have a "hot and cold food" concept... similar to the "yin and yang" idea. When you have cough, it means you have too much heat in your body and therefore you shouldn't eat 'hot' food. Oranges are considered 'hot' fruits along with mangoes and durian.)

After helping an old lady/man eat lunch, I usually chat with him or her for a while. But this time, I could not do it since the old lady I was assigned to was deaf. So, I decided to sit beside her and put my left hand on her right shoulder. She then lifted her hand and put it on my mine. She rubbed the back of my hand and the ring on my ring finger, then she slipped her hand into mine and we held hands for quite sometime. It seemed like that was good enough for her to gain more energy for the next half of the day. Then after a while she let go.

When I was walking back home, I realized that though she appreciated an extra hand to help her eat, what she really needed more was a hand to hold, to comfort her and make her feel that someone cares.

END

Questions:

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