Friday, August 13, 2010

A Hand to Hold



When I was living in Macau (China), one of the things that usually keep me busy on some weekends is a trip to a nursing home to help feed some old folks for lunch. It's a kind of volunteer work that this old folks' home hopes to always have. So, last Sunday I went there with 4 other friends.The idea is to spoonfeed those who can't eat by themselves. Some of the residents are already bed-ridden, some are blind, some are deaf, some had lost the control of their movements and some are just too old to do things by themselves.

There is a separate mess hall for those who have the above-mentioned conditions. Each volunteer is assigned to assist one old person. I was asked to help one very old lady. As I approached her she started coughing terribly... terrible enough to make her lose her appetite for lunch. She only had five spoonfuls of the soft meal --- consisting of porridge, minced vegetables and meat --- prepared by the canteen. She was also given some slices of orange. She refused to eat more. I tried coaxing her to have a few more serving but to no avail, she wouldn't.

Then, one nursing home attendant who heard me convincing the old lady to eat more, came to me and said, "She's blind and deaf." No wonder, she wouldn't 'hear' anything of what I was saying. Since she couldn't hear me, I tried to put the spoon close to her mouth hoping she would just open it and take in the offer but she wouldn't. She then told me in a clear but soft voice, "'I'm full." Then I lifted a slice of orange to her mouth, she took it from me and examined it with her hands to identify what it was being offered to her. She then put it on the table and told me, "I have cough, I can't eat oranges."

(The Chinese have a "hot and cold food" concept... similar to the "yin and yang" idea. When you have cough, it means you have too much heat in your body and therefore you shouldn't eat 'hot' food. Oranges are considered 'hot' fruits along with mangoes and durian.)

After helping an old lady/man eat lunch, I usually chat with him or her for a while. But this time, I could not do it since the old lady I was assigned to was deaf. So, I decided to sit beside her and put my left hand on her right shoulder. She then lifted her hand and put it on my mine. She rubbed the back of my hand and the ring on my ring finger, then she slipped her hand into mine and we held hands for quite sometime. It seemed like that was good enough for her to gain more energy for the next half of the day. Then after a while she let go.

When I was walking back home, I realized that though she appreciated an extra hand to help her eat, what she really needed more was a hand to hold, to comfort her and make her feel that someone cares.

END

Questions:

1. What type of essay is this?

2. What elements can you identify in this essay?



A Poem I Wrote in Honor of the Greatest Mother

An Ode to Mama Mary


Mama, I am your little girl.

Hold me tight,

Keep me in your sight,

So that I wander nowhere

No longer.


Mama, I am your little girl.

Teach me your ways

To quicken my pace

So that I catch up

With God’s love

And win the imperishable cup.


Mama, I am your little girl.

Grant me your humility

And shun timidity

That I may learn

Not my will to yearn.


Mama, I am your little girl.

I want to love you

Lady in blue

Because faithfulness alone

Is the only song I want to intone.


Mama, I am your little girl.

Bring me closer to your Little Boy

So that only He will possess

My heart, mind, body and soul

And no one else.

WHAT'S IN A DILEMMA?

What I feel is not what I want.

What I want is not what I feel.

What a dilemma I've got!

**

Why can't I feel what I want?

And why can't I want what I feel?

What difficult questions to deal with!

**

Some say I've got to let my feelings go.

Some say I've got to work for what I want.

What confusion there is in my mind!

**

To feel is for the heart.

To want is for the head.

What mind-boggling and heart-breaking situation I am in!

**

Feeling and wanting

What a gap there is in between

That seems unbridgeable.

**

But I have an ally: Time.

**

It tells me

What lies ahead

When the head takes the lead

And the feelings fade

**

I'll just let the days pass

With only one thing in mind

I must choose what's best

So there will be no regrets.

**

One day soon the heart will follow the head.

When what I want is what I feel and what I feel is what I want.

And what peace of mind and heart will there be!

*************************

Don't we all go through this at one point in our lives? Whether it concerns matters of the heart, career, relationships, choices in life... what's important is we don't quickly jump on what our feelings dictate... We have to stop, think, deliberate, evaluate the consequences of each possibility and pray for light. Ask advice... we're never old and wise enough not to need other people's inputs. Then you'll never go wrong or if you make a mistake, there'll be no huge regrets. And you'd be able to say, "I've done what's best!"

My very first attempt at creative writing!

My very first attempt at creative writing!

I went through some of my college stuff a few weeks ago and found this short story that I wrote for my Introduction to Literature class in the University of Macau donkey years ago. I had fun reading it and revising it to its present form and plot.

For me, this piece gave me a peek of what I used to think of relationships back then. It seems so shallow now. But anyhow, I'm sharing it here for anyone interested.

___________________________________________________________________

THE BRIDGE


It is past midnight and Miriam is still wide-awake. Sleep is eluding her. It must be the feeling of excitement that kept her from dozing off. Turning and tossing in her bed, she thought, “Gosh! I’ll finally hear what I’ve been longing for him to say.”

College Freshmen Orientation Day. Yes, that was the day when she first met him. John is a tall, lanky but good-looking boy who graduated from an upscale exclusive school for boys. He had a charming aura about him. Miriam noticed him but all she could do was look at him from afar. After all, Miriam thinks she’s a plain Jane whom he would never even give a second look.

“He is just going to be another heart breaker,” she thought.

But all negative impressions vanished when he approached her. She vividly remembers how he said ‘hi’ when he came up to her on that day and how his full lips curved into a smile after uttering that greeting. Never before had she seen a picture-perfect smile. She shyly responded to his greeting.

“I noticed a certain look in his eyes that seemed to say he was greatly pleased to meet me,” Miriam said to herself.

As the school year progressed, John and Miriam became friends though they never became close. But there was always a chance to exchange hello’s everyday. For Miriam, John’s million-dollar smile was his way of saying, “Let’s stop and talk a while.”

He made her feel special. He always asked how she and her best friend, Lorelei, are doing. Those short encounters set her heart pounding loud and fast. And a strange warm and nice feeling usually envelops her. Obviously, her heart beats for him.

Tomorrow, at last, there would be an explanation to why she always catches him looking her way, why he always makes it a point to walk with her and Lorelei after class, and why he always wanted to sit beside Miriam during lectures.

Today, as Miriam and Lorelei were walking down the hall with him, he whispered to Miriam if it would be possible to see her privately.

“So what was that supposed to mean?” Miriam asked herself. She could already guess what would happen next.

“I might have my first boyfriend tomorrow.” She turned sideways, closed her eyes and forced herself to sleep.

-------------------------------

I don’t exactly know what time I dozed off last night. I arrived at our meeting place 10 minutes early and I really made sure I looked and smelled best as I could.

I wondered why it took him 3 months, 21 days and 15 hours before he tells me what he feels. My thoughts were interrupted upon seeing him enter the cafeteria entrance.

“You came early,” he told me as he sat on the bench opposite me. I gave him my best smile but I could sense he was uneasy.

“So, John, what can I do for you?” I said, trying hard to conceal my excitement.

He was fidgeting with his fingers and his eyes were darting everywhere except on my face. “Falling in love is part of growing up, right?”

Suddenly I felt a lump on my throat. I think I am going to explode. My goodness, he’s really going to say it!

“Oh yeah,” was my feeble reply. We sat there speechless for a few seconds. I am floating on air.

I struggled to say something to pull myself back to reality. “You mean you’re in love?” I asked.

He nodded with a shy smile.

I did not know what to say anymore. It was too much to contain. So, this must be it!

“May I know who has your affections?” I asked with a hint of nervousness. I had an instant answer in my head: “You.”

“I think you might know why I did not want Lorelei to be around,” he replied.

“Huh?” Suddenly it seemed like someone stood behind me and poured hot water over my head. What did he mean?

“I thought you might be the right person to help me. I feel so shy around her and I couldn’t gather up my nerves to tell her about my feelings for her. I earnestly hope you can be a bridge between me and her,” he said and took a deep breath.

-------------------------------------------

A bridge! She heard an inner voice shouting. She was out of her mind. This is totally unexpected!

Hot tears started to fill her eyes. She cannot contain this sudden burst of emotion but was too embarrassed to let him know what’s going on inside her. She felt betrayed and ashamed of what she had been thinking all this time.

Without a word, she stood up and dashed towards the nearest ladies’ room. She did not see what had become of him.

-----------------------------------------------

That was the longest day of my freshman year. My most awaited moment had become my worst moment. Then, I realized that Lorelei, my best friend, was the main reason why he always wanted to be around me. He never failed to ask about her. I never suspected anything about John’s unusually gentle manner towards my friend because I was completely convinced he was interested in me. Now I understand why he would be so self-conscious when Lorelei was around.

That incident caused me a lot of tears and weeks of sleepless nights. I could not blame him nor Lorelei or anyone for that matter. I had been a victim of my own imagination. I was living under an illusion. Being too self-absorbed, I attached a meaning to everything he did when in fact all he did were merely expressions of a platonic friendship, which unfortunately, had an ulterior motive. He wanted to win me over to help him get his message across to the real object of his affections.

My imagination brought me too far for comfort.

-------

I scanned the room and found her at a table for four in one corner.

“Hey Miriam, what are you day-dreaming about again?” That question jolted her from her thoughts back to the library’s quiet ambiance.

I asked her to come and see me here today to discuss our project. I wonder if she has the slightest idea of our meeting’s real agenda.

I am getting edgy but I must not let my nerves get me. I sat opposite her as she pulls herself back to reality.

“John, do you remember that day when you told me about your feelings for Lorelie?”

Should I say it? Now that she talks about Lorelei again, I don’t think that what I am going to tell her today will sink in. I fell head over heels in love with her friend and Miriam knows I am still nursing a heart that was wounded by an unrequited affection. Miriam did what she can to help me but Lorelei was and is never meant for me.

I nodded, “Yeah, that was two years ago. Why?”

She smiled and said, “You never asked me why I suddenly left without saying anything.”

I stretched my arms across the table, reached out for her hands and squeezed them gently. I looked at her straight in the eye.

“Your eyes glitters just the way it did when I first met you,” Miriam told me. She has a very endearing way of complimenting people that does not mortify.

I could not tear my eyes off her sweet little face. She then pouted which makes her look so girlish.

“Miriam, only a cadaver would not understand what happened then,” I mockingly said.

“So, you knew…”

“But not at that moment. Honestly, I was startled by your departure. I wondered whether I said something that really offended you. But later on, I somehow figured it out,” I said to tease her.

This is the moment. It’s now or never. “And you know what?” I asked her.

“What?” she replied, looking at me expectantly.

“The real owner of my heart is the ‘bridge’.”


END


Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Nalipay ko...


...kay nakakita ko ug usa ka online dicitionary nga magbadbad sa mga Binisayang pamulong ngadto sa Ingles. Mahimo na nimo diri sa binisaya.com. Dali, lantawa dayon kay aron daghan kang masabtan na mga balak!